Dale enjoying his off-field life

While the other SA players were giving everything they have to win this test, a cameraman managed to show us a glimpse of where our injured test hero has been..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hmm I seriously wonder what Jeanne has to say on this.. where r u Kietzmann?? your man is drifting away..

                                   Oh my..

AB, the Heart Breaker

Well, unfortunately the rumours surrounding us about AB's new love is nothing but a Fact. And I'm thoroughly convinced about it now. Yes, AB indeed is no longer MY! :(
And here's the prove..

Apparently, you do know how obsessed I am with this man, so yes I've figured out every bit of who this girl is, what she does and yes EVERYTHING!

I'd be a lame liar If I dont call this girl pretty, because the fact is, that she really is pretty which kinda sucks!

Her name's Carly Weinberg and she's a journalist. She runs her own cricket blogging website too which is quite cool - www.carlyweinberg.com

Well this news, is certainly giving pain to my lonely heart, but Whatever! Atleast AB's found himself a prettier gf than that of Biff!

    Hmph! My love stealer! 

B & B

^ Thats Biff and Brigitte for you!

So CSA has finally put up some new pics of the gals who went with our SA boys to the english welcome party, where they even got a few glimpse of Biff's Brigitte..

I TOLD YOU, Biff takes Brigitte everywhere he goes! Whats the obsession Skip? eh?

Boys and Girls..

Everyone stand up and Congratulate our dear old Albie Morkel on becoming a Daddy today! Yes, today 1st December Albie becomes a proud father of his long awaited baby. And for heaven's sake, dont think this is some kind of a lame joke or something. A friend of mine has Morkel as a friend on Facebook, from where he has come to know of the good news and informed me.
Congrats Albie :)

Steyn, the Nobody

So, Dale bowled pretty badly in yesterday's ODI against the Poms, which is now a usual thing from him these days (oh dale, what happened to you??) Morne and Parny made up for his poor bowling, by sharing 8 wickets between them though. But thats not gonna work everytime Mr Dale Williem Steyn!! You need to pick your wickets yourself and not run back to the dressing room even before the match is finished with the thought "Oh I rather go and rest now. Morne and Parnell are here to do the job!" Dammit! Before the match started I had HUGE expectations from Dale, because I thought its been pretty long time since he contributed with the ball, But *sigh* he failed again!
More of these performances, and we'll soon see a certain name, Dale Steyn, missing from the playing XI. Mind it oh people of the world!

Jacques Henry Kallis

Injury Times baby!

The door opened. Jacques Kallis entered and spoke to the receptionist.

"I have an appointment about my rib problem," he said.

"Certainly, sir," said the receptionist.

"I got to the buffet and Graeme Smith had been and had the lot," said Kallis, visibly upset.

"There was hardly anything left and it's not fair. I've written a letter. I had to make do with just a few steaks and some chicken in jam and a trifle."
A figure looked up from playing Grand Theft Auto IX: Downtown Joburg on his Portable Nintendo Wii 360.
"Hiya Jacques," said Alastair Cook. "What are you in for?"

"I'm wasting away here," said Kallis. "Ribs. What about you?"

"I've picked up a bit of a back niggle," said Cook. "It's probably the pressures of leadership. A lot of great leaders have suffered from dodgy backs - Atherton, Brearley, Alexander The Great, the Green Power Ranger from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers."

"Oh ja," said Kallis. "Trotty was saying that you were not feeling too great."

"Trotty?" said Cook. "When did he tell you that?"

"Yesterday," said Kallis. "In the team meeting. Trotty was walking down the corridor. He heard Smith shouting in Afrikaans about mentally disintegrating Andrew Strauss and got confused. He thought it was Pietersen showing his full support for the England regime, went in the wrong dressing room and there you go."

Another patient looked up from his BlackBerry.
"I'm in a right old state," said Graeme Swann. "It's my side. I fear it may have split from all these hilarious tweets."

"You think you've got problems," said Stuart Broad. "First I had that operation to transplant in a really good cricketing brain for a young lad, then I had all those problems with my buttocks."

"Oh yeah," said Cook. "You did have to put up with a lot of kissing in that area after you bowled those three good overs in just the one match last summer."

"Too right," said Broad. "And now it's my shoulders. I can't keep carrying this team for ever, you know. Now I understand how Fred felt."

"Mr Flintoff?" said the receptionist. "One of our best customers. At least, until that unfortunate incident with the oxygen chamber and the stolen canister of helium that led to his rescue by the South African air force."

All present stood to salute the talismanic allrounder (or at least all those who could stand without feeling a niggle), before a nurse dispensed isotonic sports-recovery drinks to the England players and a small jug of gravy to Kallis.

Baby Morkel comes back

 Yep, he's coming back People!!
..To take his brother's place MOST PROBABLY?
C'mon all, lets be honest Who else would you drop from the starting XI, if you want to give Morne a place in the squad?? Maybe Alviro Peterson?? No, Gibbs has already booked his place there. And to worse things up, Parnell too might be coming back for the reminder of the series. Then? Whom will you drop from this squad to play Morne? I'm afraid to say, but Albie is the only option (Sorry Sid)

Albie's been bowling horribly and his batting is getting Worse every game.
Sorry Albertus, but looks like Morne is in for revenge here. Remember what you did to his Test place to make your Test debut?? Yep, Serves you right deary!

Back to spread love!

Evil Steyn!

http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=6&click_id=3066&art_id=vn20091122130248883C949687

Sorry for being so quite all these days.

Anyways, so The english demons have beaten some Protea butts in their ODI encounter then. Well, no comments regarding that! My boys played like losers and gave the bloody Poms a chance to beat them so comprehensively.

Above all these, one thing that I was worried about while watching the 2nd ODI, was AB's right foot. NO, Not because he's got lovely feet, but because a certain Dale Steyn managed to hurt his Long time Titans team-mate during the Team's football session, ahead of the 2nd ODI.

AB de Villiers had to undergo a lengthy treatment session during the side's warm-up kick-about before the first ODI after being spiked on the right ankle by Dale Steyn.

Despite this, he didnt even regret his silly mistake! Hmph!

"Of course I did it deliberately, he's a Manchester United fan," said Steyn, who supports Chelsea.

Wow! and you call yourself a friend, Dale?? Bloody hell. I seriously need to tell AB to stay away from you from now on.

Smith Dumps Kallis

http://www.sport24.co.za/Content/Cricket/EnglandinSA/3513/952b17331736481ea83035b648172757/12-11-2009-02-43/Bosman_to_open_in_Eng_Pro20

LOL Biff betrayed his old time Boy Friend!!
So, mr Biff didnt pick Kallis in the playing XI for the first t20 tomorrow. I thought it was pretty strange of Biff to do something like this, seeing that he has never ever dumped his Boys, not even Boucher.
Oh well, Biff turns out to be a very harsh friend in the end then. See AB, thats why I always ask you stay away from the Meany man.

Anyways so he selected Loots Bosman instead to open the batting. Maybe he's good, but as good as Jacques?? Nah...

Mickey though says that he wants to give all the 15 players a chance to play and hence Loots got a chance. CHANCE Mickey?? What? Is this a match against Kenya or something?? You wanna experiment with your "already good team" against the Poms?? Why??

My Biff dumped me?? I'm going to commit suicide.

Poor Kid

Just take a look at this horrible sight! An innocent kid captivated by Biff the Buffalo!! Bless my poor soul!

I feel so sorry for the child! Having been forced to sit with Biff for a conversation. My word! Wonder what he must be going through. Although scared, he is keeping a nice innocent smile on his face, because he knows what Biff can do.

I'm just thinking, what the conversation must have gone like? Something like..

Biff: Hello Boy

Kid: Hi Graeme! I'm a huge fan of yours and I...

Biff: Do you know you remind me a lot of Gibbsy?

Kid: Really? how?

Biff: Your hairstyle matches DUH!

Kid: Oh yes, I see. So, How are the preparations going for the England..

Biff: Have you seen my Girl friend?

Kid: Yeah I did

Biff: Isnt she GORGEOUS??

Kid: Umm, err.. actually, I guess.. err

Biff: Well ofcourse she is!! and if she isnt then I'll replace her with Shamone Jardim. I'm sure Kallis wont mind.

Kid: Jacques seriously wont mind??

Biff: He better not. More importantly, why should he mind?? He's got Bouch to give him company..

Kid: ...

Biff: Why are you wearing the same coloured shirt as me???

Kid: I didnt know that you too will wear..

Biff: No excuses please! I know you did it because you are crazy about me, like hundreds other right?? Ah, being famous feels goood!

Kid: I'm sure it does.. So the preparations for the Eng..

Biff: Did you read my amazing book??

Kid: Not full, but a little, its fantastic..

Biff: You havent finished reading yet?? OMG! Do you know I made all my team-mates read it, and even asked questions regarding the stories in the book just to see how attentively they read it??

Kid: They all read it???

Biff: Ofcourse! After all, they do care about their places in the team...I mean err.. yes they did!

Kid: Oh.

Biff: well kid. I gotta go now. Briggite must be waiting for me. You managed to waste 15 minutes of my precious time for this silly interview, so congrats!

Kid: But...  oh well!

Well, what else did you expect from this interview Kid?? Thats what Biff is, accept it!

Well done England

Well done on getting beaten by an SA A Side.
Well done on getting all out for 89 runs
Well done on letting the SA crowds know how you play
Well done on giving such a miserable performance against a List A side
Well done on making me so happy that you lost
Well done on playing in the same poor way that you played against the Aussies
Well done for proving me right, that you all are a bunch of lame losers!!
Oh, and well done on making me proud of my Proteas again

Thanks guys!! You all are really sweet! Except Broad ofcourse, because he's been growing a strange beard that I just cant Ignore!

Busted!

A Few Questions..

So, SA beat Zimbabwe in the first ODI by 45 runs today, surprise surprise!
I thought it was a pretty average performance by the Saffas, as defending a modest total of 295, the bowlers looked so hopless against the batsmen of Zimbabwe. The bowlers started of pretty nicely, restricting Zimbabwe to 48-5 in the early overs, but all of them lost their momentum after the rain break.
Whatever, watching today's match, a few questions popped in my mind that I would really like my Saffa boys to answer. AND I MEAN IT!

Smith- Are you confused when to play your god damn bowlers and where to keep your god damn fielders during the important stages of the match?? And why the bloody hell did you not play Roela??

Amla- Just a little saying for you to remember.. Fielding is as important as Batting!

AB- Why do you have a habbit of getting out during the crucial stages of the match AND Taking so much risks while playing your shots??

Boucher- Dont you think you no longer Rock?? You dropped a bloody catch during the early overs of the match and you obviously sucked at batting AS USUAL!

Petersen- Who are you and why dont you field PROPERLY???

Albie- Did anyone teach you how to bowl?? if not, then please stop bowling for the team, and make it more difficult for them to win!!

McLaren- When you knew that breaking that long partnership was so easy, Why did you take so long to do so???

Botha- Do you play well only when you're the captain of the side??

Steyn- Did you see your economic rate?? Highly unimpressive!

Tsotsobe- Why do you have such a strange name AND why do you bowl so Bad??

Langeveldt- Who Brought you back in the side???? not even a single wicket to your name. Shame!

Arthur- Who the hell told you that Zimbabwe is an easy opponent, that you picked Such a Squad to face it???

Would you all please care to answer me????